the good drug?

yesterday i was reminded that buddhists see life as suffering.

they found a way to deal with it.

so yeah, maybe im not different, unique, or especially tormented.   maybe everybody suffers internally as i do.

...
i like this library, and college in general.  but i still cant find the motivation.
its forced me to reconsider that which i once had strong convictions against- mood stabilizers.

aderol.    

because, lately ive no convictions at all.  
im an alcoholic, though be it a trend.

and im dont want to fail eng 102 again, but ive left myself no other choice.

two days ago my writing instructor dropped me from her class,  i cant write now anyway cause-

my fingers are bandaged from utter stupidity, and my heart aches from small town blues... women two.

maybe three now, that im juggleing, the work ball has been tossed, possibly falling soon.

its cold time now